it begins (friday night gig!)
in which Iron John kicked butt as far as I know, I bribe myself with candy to practice for Friday's show, and new beginnings
Hey Hartlist,
“Well, you guys: I have no notes.”
-our agent, after the IRON JOHN reading on Monday
Yes ok maybe I am braggy for sharing it but on the other hand it might be the only time I ever hear this sentence so why not let me have this.
JUST THE GIGS
You guys it begins: FRIDAY NIGHT AT SEVEN. Tickets here or CASH ONLY at door.
FROM THE CHRYSALIS
So, anyway, yeah, the IRON JOHN reading went very well. “I can’t believe we pulled this off” is definitely in the running for Most Frequent Sentence spoken by either JG or myself since Monday. And it would not have happened, dear readers of this blogletter, without YOU… whether you donated to the cause (THANK YOU), asked how it was going and when you could see it (SOON I HOPE), or just listened to me talk about it for a month without unsubscribing. Did everyone who RSVP’d show up? No. Did we have the perfect amount of people for the space, all of whom leaned in and listened? Yes. Did any of them come up and say “Here is ten million dollars”? No. Did we make some genuine connections that feel like they will lead us to actually putting this on its feet somewhere? Fingers crossed, I’ll keep you posted, I was very proud. (Also, if someone comes up to you and says “here’s ten million dollars”, I think you’re supposed to… run away? Most of the time?)
And, yeah, I mean I still ‘had notes’ for myself, but as I watched it (ok listened from the kitchenette), I felt like it was basically cooked through. You know? Like, I would eat it.
And maybe that’s why today I went off to my writers space and more or less blithely generated a Summary Paragraph of our next show (which doesn’t exist yet!) for a grant application in more or less the required 150 words. After four years of Kind-Of-But-Not-Really being able to write anything else because of the Iron Grip of John on my imaginationscape. I mean, I wrote other things, but this loomed very large. I loved my mini opera but it …. also took place in a haunted forest. You know?
I hope it won’t always be like this because I imagine I will at some point have to write different things simultaneously. (Truth be told, I was supposed to have been doing that this whole time - remember that one-woman show coming up in May? ) But I guess my imagination is kind of monogamous. If I'm writing something and it's working, it's because I'm basically convinced that the world of the show is real and true. Ask me to consider another and I become Natasha Lyonne in Poker Face: “Bullshit!” 1
But today I had just a little bit of That Feeling. The feeling of plugging in, and a cool electricity coming through. The feeling of being excited to go into a new world and walk around, not just stand outside talking about it. I can’t prove that it’s because I’m “done” with the Town of Good (I mean, I hope not, since barely anyone has seen or heard of Iron John yet or would even get that reference), but the timing was interesting.
New beginnings are exciting and excruciating. ( I mean, ask me if I’ve tried actually WRITING any of the new piece.) I’m probably mostly excited that I actually wrote a summary paragraph in less than four hours and without tears. After I finish up here, I need to switch gears and practice for Friday’s set. As in, play some songs. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I’ve wanted a residency forever. Rockwood is familiar territory, and it’s not like I’m trying to write a whole new set for each show. Piece of cake. And yet, every show is different, and we have Susie sitting in for Matt, and we’re trying a new cover, and blah blah blah.
Again, this is one of my favorite things to do.
But I actually just said out loud “Ok, if you do the dishes and practice the set, you can have ice cream.”
I’m bribing myself. To play music. Oh the humanity. (Full disclosure: it’s not even ice cream, it’s nondairy raspberry sorbet.)
I’ll show myself out.
Ok, if I were to end on a philosophical note, it would probably be this: I know from experience that once I DO start, it’s a whole new ballgame. So it’s the Starting, not the thing itself, that I dread. (Don’t even get me started on the “switching gears” idea.)
Two nights ago, my move was “Ok, all you have to do is PICK UP the guitar and play the first chord of the first song.” And I ended up running the set AND actually starting something new. I still can’t believe that worked. I KNEW I was manipulating myself. My “Bullshit”-ometer was in full effect. But it worked. Probably because I really wanted to play, JUST NOT TO START.
Whatever. If it gets you through the first chord (or word, or jumping jack) it’s worth it. There’s usually a whole lot happening on the other side.
Come to the shoooows I promise to practice.
See you soon,
Rebecca
sorry i’ve been watching a lot of TV. But- it’s very good.